Real Love

Published on July 23, 2011 in Podvig - Spiritual Struggle and Uncategorized. 3 Comments

Sometimes when you read the Scriptures for Sunday, there is a phrase that is used over and over. In Romans 12, St. Paul says “Be affectionate to each other” and also “let love be genuine between you.” In 2 Corinthians 6, he writes that he proves his ministry by, among other things, “love unfeigned.” You begin to catch a drift of meaning here. Though we may find it difficult to practice in the world, in the Church, love has to be the real thing. Orthodoxy has always been and will always be most fundamentally a matter of the heart. We can try to substitute religion or even piety for love, but it will never work. Don’t get me wrong, religion and piety play their part, but they must be expressions of love and not a substitute for love. Hear the words of the prophet Isaiah: “Bring no more vain offerings; incense is an abomination to me. New moons and Sabbaths and the calling of convocations wearies me.”

Well, for heaven’s sake, it seems like a direct put down of the Orthodox Faith. Why does God say this? Here is the answer: “…this people come near me with their mouth, and with their lips do honor me, but they have removed their heart far from me, and their fear toward me is taught by the precept of men….”

This seems like a harsh word, and feels like a threat. Being a sinner, I know that most of the time my love for God and for my neighbor is anything but genuine. I do just enough and say just enough to get people to move on so that I can do the things I want to do. This doesn’t mean that I don’t honestly feel love at times, but I know that love is demonstrated not by what I feel but by what I do.

The Gospel story found in Luke 7 drives the point home. Simon, I have something to say to you. From the moment I came into your house, you’ve done nothing for me. A host is supposed to see that his guests have their feet washed. You did nothing, but this woman has washed my feet continually. You gave me no kiss of greeting as hosts are supposed to do, but she has kissed my feet continually. You did not anoint my head with oil as hosts are suppose to do, but this woman did even more and anointed my feet with oil. I tell you Simon, her sins are forgiven.

In this story, we come to understand why it is important that love be genuine and unfeigned and demonstrated by what we do. It is a very great and important truth – more than anything else, forgiveness depends upon love, a love shown in action.

Jesus makes this connection. Forgiveness and love are bound together and cannot be separated. Her sins, which are many, are forgiven. Why? Because, she loved much. But why does she love so much? Because, she was forgiven much. It seems very circular, does it not? Jesus tells the parable again about the man who owed a lot of money, and a man who owed little. Both debts were forgiven, but which one  loved the banker most? Obviously, it was the one who had the greatest debt.

So, I am driven to a conclusion about why my love is so shallow. I know the Church is trying to help me understand how great the debt that I owe is. If I can fully grasp this, my love will be great. Since my love is not so great, I really don’t have a clue as to how much has been forgiven me. Oh, I can grasp the concept in my mind, but my heart is another matter. So, it’s just easier to burn incense and attend services and flatter God with my lips as I chant about how much I love him.  Will he believe it more if I chant it in Greek or in Slavonic? Maybe tone 6 would do better than tone 2?

I am a good Pharisee, you see. I do all things right. Jesus knocked on the door of my heart and I opened it and invited Him in. Yet, how sad it is that Jesus entered into my house, and I have done so little for Him. What a sorry host I am. If I really loved him, I would be kissing feet and anointing heads and my love for God and for my brothers and sisters would be genuine.

May I come to know how great was the debt forgiven, so that my love will be great, and may that love and affection be genuine and demonstrated by the feet I wash and the heads I anoint.

Darnel

Published on July 19, 2011 in Uncategorized. 19 Comments

 

I’d like to introduce you to a former member of our church. His name is Darnel. I remember when he first came to visit. He had been to several churches but each one had its problems and eventually he found it necessary to look for another Church. I explained that All Saints had its problems as well, but Darnel assured me that he had grown from his past experiences and now wanted a quiet life of prayer and fellowship in a “more traditional church.” I must admit that for a period of time, Darnel seemed like a pillar of Orthodoxy and I invited him to help serve in the altar.

Then the trouble began. Darnel, although he had only been Orthodox for two years, began to question the way I did things in the altar. Being a convert priest, I had much to learn (and I still have much to learn), and so I would listen to Darnel’s advice. After all, Darnel had spent a lot of time studying liturgical books and could quote chapter and verse. Then, when my Bishop would visit, he would often correct what Darnel had advised. This caused Darnel a lot of embarrassment and later he would tell me how he didn’t like Bishop X because he was “cold.” I did tell him that he should not correct me during the service and that we could talk afterwards, but he seemed to bristle at the admonition.

The thing about Darnel is that he made friends easily. There’s nothing wrong about being friendly, but during one parish meeting, Darnel got up to oppose a motion on what I thought was a minor matter. In the end, He did not prevail but his passion made the discussion difficult. Later, I noticed that a group seemed to be angry. When I inquired as to the reason, they told me that Darnel had been hurt by the way he was treated in the meeting. I reviewed the meeting and while Darnel spoke, most people had sat quietly offering no objection. He lost by a simple vote. How had he been mistreated? The point was that Darnel had successfully created a faction in what had once been a harmonious Church family.

Many other things happened and soon I realized that Darnel was a real threat to the life of the Church. Yet, what could I do because he was an Orthodox Christian, and many people considered him to be a pious and friendly man? I talked to him several times but he always assured me that he was my greatest supporter and he would do whatever he could to help heal any situation. Church members began to come and complain about Darnel, and some wanted me to get him out of our Church. I knew that it would cause a lot of damage due to his circle of supporters. If I tried to pull Darnel out, I would lose other members as well. So, it seemed that all I could do was damage control.

My wife and I prayed often for Darnel and we did our best to soothe hurt feelings. Then the time came when God took Darnel from All Saints. News came that our jurisdiction was about to rejoin with the Moscow Patriarchate. Darnel made it his mission to speak often and long against this reunion. Yet as time passed, it became clear that this would be accomplished and Darnel became ever more adamant that we should leave our jurisdiction. When the final documents of union were signed, Darnel left our Church in a great huff. Happily, few of his supporters went with him. What followed was a time of peace, unity, and loving fellowship. The factions disappeared, but I realized then what the Lord meant when he said “The zeal of my house has eaten me up.”

I wonder when and if another Darnel will be planted in our fellowship. That’s up to the Lord because it is His Church. In a sense, Darnel was both a gift and a burden. When prospective members would come and stay, they would learn of the division in the Church, and some left. I will admit that I was glad when he left, but I also know that Darnel challenged us to exercise patience, forbearance, and forgiveness. It also taught us to trust that the Lord knows when to prune his Vine. Maybe this is why our fellowship is as strong as it is.

Do you have a Darnel in your Church? He/she looks like true Orthodox wheat in the garden of the Lord. In fact, they are weeds and not wheat. Pray to the Lord of the harvest and be patient.

Darnel, I’m glad you’re gone, but I wish you well. I hope that where ever you have gone, you have truly learned something from your time with us. I hope that you have become wheat in the Kingdom of God.

(Matthew 13:24-30 – KJV)

Its not easy being green!

Published on July 2, 2011 in Uncategorized. 1 Comment

frog

I live an anxious life.

The Master said that I cannot serve two masters. I don’t want to serve two, but its not that easy.  The problem is my vision. Sometimes my eyes focus on one thing and other times, I look in two directions.  This is great for a frog’s survival, but such double vision fills me with anxiety. When I look in both directions, its hard to concentrate on two things at the same time.

When I can focus on God, the vision fills me with light.  I know that life has been answered and there is no need to fear. In God’s eyes, I am worth more than grass and sparrows. He cares for them and so he cares even more for me. When my vision is single, I am not afraid. God is for me, so who can be against me? That should be enough.

The problem is that something moves into my field of vision and grabs my attention. My vision becomes unfocused and I become anxious.  Let’s take the economy for example. The Master said I shouldn’t worry, but has He seen the price of gasoline? Salaries are down -costs are up. Tomatoes are a dollar a piece and they aren’t that good. There’s 14 trillion dollars owed to someone and who will pay it? I’ve paid into something called “social security”, but will there be any security at all when I hit 65? And what of my children? What will they do if things continue as they are now. All the birds have to worry about is the next worm and grass doesn’t worry at all. Lucky creatures!

Then there are tsunamis and earthquakes, plagues and cancers, wars and rebellions and marches and protests and all kinds of misfortune. At this point,  both eyes have turned from God to the world and it is very dark indeed.

If a man’s vision is healthy and focused, anxiety and fear flees before the light of God. I know of such a man of vision – St. John Maximovitch. His eye was single, his vision was focused and healthy, and true. No matter how the world tried to catch his attention, and it tried very hard,  he kept both of his eyes on the Lord. His life gives me hope that maybe I too can learn to keep my focus where it belongs.

I long to end my frog’s way of life. I’m tired of my double vision and my wandering eyes. The Lord is right. My anxiety changes nothing, not even my height or hair colour. If I could just put both eyes on the Lord and focus them, I could see the truth in all things and the darkness of fear and anxiety would end.

Therefore, I am resolved that my vision will be healthy and focused upon God. I will not let my vision become double again. I will keep my eye single!

Oh, I just heard a story on the news that Congress may not be able meet the deadline for our budget and we will default on our loans. If that happens, we may go into a great depression. What are we going to do? How will we pay our bills? Tax increases? I can’t afford it. What will happen to us?

Oh no, one eye just shifted again and things got fuzzy. Two masters, again!!!

Call me Kermit, the Orthodox frog!

Its not easy being green!

(a reflection on Matthew 6:22-33)

On the Shoulders of Giants

Published on June 27, 2011 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Orthodoxy has no “cult of the saints.” We don’t “put them on a pedestal” and treat them like some kind of spiritual anomaly, or super hero. If the saints are some special class of being, then we feel justified to believe that we can never be anything like them. On the contrary, we know that the saints were sinful men and women just like the rest of us. Yet, they were friends of God, and their love moved them to gain the Holy Spirit and to be transformed into the image of Christ. Therefore, we see what is possible for all of us. Also, we know as the Bible says that “the prayer of a righteous man avails much.” Therefore, we can ask the saints to pray for us just as we can ask any member of our local congregation to pray for us.

The saints are important to the Orthodox for another reason. Isaac Newton said that we can see farther than the previous generation, only because we stand on the shoulders of giants. You and I can see far indeed if we stand on the shoulders of the saints. On the Sunday of the Saints of Russia, we find new shoulders to stand upon. The new martyrs and confessors of Russia are our contemporaries. They lived in the modern world with all of its appeal and demands, materialism, and hedonism. Even so, they confessed Christ and millions gave witness to the point of their physical death.

With the fall of the Soviet Union, the files of the former KGB were opened. The story there is a grim one. Representatives of the Russian Orthodox Church have been able to begin the process of listing these men and women so that they can be glorified. Sadly, many of them just disappeared with no record of what happened to them. Even more, the numbers are so great that the work will outlast the lifetime of the committee members. Hitler was a horror, but compared to Stalin and those who followed him, Hitler was a choir boy. The Holocaust did not end with the defeat of Germany.

Perhaps this very fact makes us feel some distance from these new martyrs. After all, living in America with our guaranteed freedoms and mighty military forces, such a death would never be a possibility for us. We know that there are faithful men and women being martyred for the Faith even as we read this blog, but we are secure that such a thing will not come near to us.

Though we may not be called to join the ranks of the martyrs, we can join the ranks of the confessors. A confessor is someone who survived persecution without denying Christ. You may object that you have never been persecuted for the Faith. Really? Was there ever a moment when you failed to cross yourself because you thought that someone would make fun of you? Was there ever a moment when you knew that you should stop the gossip or refuse to join, but you stayed and listened and laughed because you don’t want to be shunned or marked as a religious nut? These kinds of things are subtle, but it is persecution none the less.

To be a confessor is to be a friend of God. St. Paul spoke about this friendship when he said that it is “written on the heart.” What is written on the heart can never be denied. Denying the Lord would be like denying a beloved spouse. If I can deny my wife, then in fact, while I may have affection or even fondness for her, but she is not written on my heart.

I am sure that we do not mean to deny Christ, but something prevents us from giving witness to Him. This something is shame or fear. We don’t fear physical death in these compromising situations, but we fear being ostracized or shunned. We fear being alone. We fear what our confession will do to our business contacts. We fear that we will be labeled as a fanatic or even as a Pharisee and no one will want to have coffee with us. Maybe, it’s even simpler than that. Maybe we are afraid if our religion spills out of its Sunday slot into our weekday life, things might get tough. Well, life is tough enough already and we’ve seen those religious fanatics with their hyper-piety and arrogance.

(By the way, what is the difference between a fan and a fanatic? A fan roots for Duke Basketball, and a fanatic roots for UNC!)

We are worldly people and by that I don’t mean that we are committing major sins. I mean that the pace, cares, joys, entertainments, and concerns of life have consumed us. We are slaves to the attitudes and expectations of our peers. It is the subtle modern spirit of anti-Christ. I think the devil has learned that outright physical persecution only makes the Church stronger. After all, the blood of the martyrs is the seed of the Church. So, he has taken another line of attack. Faith is compromised by slow attrition – a little compromise here, a little there- until it is so weak it disturbs no one. King David said it so well when he spoke of how the Lord built a thick and powerful hedge around his vineyard (we are his vineyard). This hedge keeps out the big animals (I’m glad to say that in many confessions, the “big” sins have disappeared), but it is the little foxes who slip in underneath the hedge, and eat away at the vines, little by little, until the garden is devastated (sadly, so many in confession are devastated and laid to waste even though they know that compared to past, many of the big sins have passed away”.

Take the time to make friends with the New Martyrs and Confessors of the present age. They know how to fight this modern and subtle spirit of anti-Christ, and they know how to become the friends of God in the face of it. Seek their intercessory prayers and assistance. We stand can stand on the shoulders of the giants of Russia- the New Martyrs and Confessors- and we will see farther and with greater clarity.

Holy Martyrs and Confessors of Russia, pray to God for us.

Ding-a-ling!

Published on June 15, 2011 in Uncategorized. 2 Comments

bell

I have to remember that I’m almost 60 years old. I just forget (but isn’t that a sign of aging –forgetfulness? They say the mind is the second thing to go and I can’t remember the first!) So, I’m up on a ladder like I’m 20 years old, sawing away at a tree branch that had fallen on the roof of a utility shed. It seemed like such a small branch. Yet, when I finally cut through it, the branch, by slamming into my face, demonstrated that it was bigger than I thought.

So here I sit in bed looking like my wife won the fight and I wonder why such things happen (besides my stupidity). Really, God is good and all powerful, yet He allows these things to happen. Why didn’t he let the branch fall in another direction thus preventing injury to his good, faithful, and humble servant? After all, I’m a priest and I was trying to do a good thing and I’ve made so many sacrifices, etc. and etc.

Well, conviction comes from many sources and this time it came via android. I came across a quote from the website Mystagogy, a blog written by J. Sanidopoulos. The note came from St. John, Metropolitan of Tobolsk. Let me insert some thoughts as I read it.

“Thankfulness during grief distinguishes the good from the evil and clearly shows who is who.”

Oh no, I think I know what’s coming

“Bells, prior to being lifted to their height, are tested by blows from a hammer and when they give out an unpleasant sound they are discarded.”

A nice analogy, but I’m beginning to feel like a dumb bell

“Such is the will of God: He does not lift His chosen ones to the heights prior to testing them with frequent crosses and grief in order to see the fulfillment of their endurance and what kind of and how pleasant a sound they emit.”

No cross –no crown, eh? I’m reconsidering the sounds I emitted after the branch knocked me down.

“At one time God tested His great “bell” Job. The hand of God touched him. Would you like to know the tool He used? The hammer of the world, that is, the devil. But what sound did this “bell” emit? “The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord!” (Job 1:21). What a pleasant sound! But Job was still further subjected to beating. He came under the power of the devil, and his whole body was struck down; from head to toe pus and worms covered him, and he sat in his discharge. Do you hear what blows he received? But now hear what his voice gave forth: “Shall we not receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?” (Job 2:10). Oh, what a strong voice! Oh, what a sweet sound…..This is the indication of a good man, a man grateful to God.”

Ok, so the branch thing wasn’t that bad, but still was I wrong to complain?

“And here is the sign of an ungrateful man: if some misfortune comes upon him, he complains, laments, opposes, grieves excessively, praises his own deeds and proves his innocence (St. Antioch, Discussion 117).”

So, my gratitude is demonstrated by how I react to the hammer of misfortune? Lord, have mercy! Yet, it seems to me that the good folks get the hammer more than the bad folks. No?

“Thus the good and the evil are being frequented by misfortune without distinction, but by this affliction itself, one is being separated from the other by the all-wise providence of God.”

Yes, I seem to remember Jesus saying that the storms of life beat against all houses. The only difference is what the houses are built upon – the foundation.

“The good, when any misfortune befalls them, offer their thanks to God Who deigns to punish them; but the arrogant, sensual and money-loving blaspheme and grumble at God saying, “O God, what evil did we do that we are suffering so?”

Grumbling! Thanks a lot, St. John. Yet, I know you are right. The hammer falls upon all of us, yet not for spite, but to hear the sound that rings out when the hammer strikes.

Call me ding-a-ling!

Mosquitoes

Published on June 9, 2011 in Podvig - Spiritual Struggle. 1 Comment

I’m sure you’ve had this experience. You’re just about to fall asleep when suddenly you hear the tiniest of sounds go by your ear. You know immediately that a mosquito has targeted you for lunch. So, you cut on the light, but no matter how much you look around, you just can’t see it. So you cut off the light, and in just a little while you hear the buzzing again. You cut the light on, but nothing. So you cut the light off and try to ignore it. You know that sometime during the night, you’ll be donating blood.

It’s the same in spiritual life. You’re trying your best to be positive, to have some sense of spiritual progress, and then the mosquitoes start buzzing in your brain. Sometimes it seems that they have sucked all of the blood from your spiritual life. These spiritual mosquitoes are called logismoi. Logismoi are random thoughts that just seem to pop into your head without invitation. You know these thoughts (here’s a short list) – gluttony, fornication, avarice, sorrow, discouragement, anger, vainglory and pride. Those are big mosquitoes and there are small ones too – the football game, the last TV show, unfinished work, deadlines, etc.

No matter how often we resolve to start again, or to pray with greater concentration, the logismoi are relentless. Each sting, no matter how small, begins to put in us the belief that we are faithless and without piety, lost and worthless, and our hope for holiness futile.

When the logismoi land, they seem to be true, but in fact they are only partially true. This gives them the hook that catches us. There is enough truth to make us believe them. A personal example: I break something and the logismoi bites, “You always screw up”. Now I’ve just screwed up, so there is some truth to the thought. Yet, if the thought comes often enough (I do mess up a lot), I believe them.  A hole begins to develop in my soul. I conclude that I am in fact a screw-up and I can never do anything right. Therefore, I am worthless. From this conclusion, depression and dejection will follow. The logismoi are somewhat Orthodox because they constantly repeat their litany. Paci…Paci – Again and again!

Jesus said, “Thy word is truth. Sanctify them with your truth.” The greatest shield against logismoi is God’s truth. No matter what our random thoughts try to say to us, only God tells us who we are and what we are, and his word is true. The devil does not define us, other people do not define us, family does not define us. Most of all, we cannot define ourselves. We are slaves to the Lord Jesus, bought by his Blood. Only He can tell us who we are. A slave cannot judge another slave, and a slave cannot judge himself. Only the Master judges him. The Master may convict us, but he will never condemn us. He will sanctify us because His word will help to purify our souls. His word is the mirror into which we should look to see ourselves. All other mirrors are distorted.

It is vital that we get this truth, otherwise we constantly fall before the logismoi. Now, understand, as the Fathers teach, that for 99.9 percent of us, the logismoi, random thoughts, will be with us until the day we die. God does not disdain us because of this. It is not sin that the logismoi buzz about our minds. Yet, is there anything else we can do?

A brother asked one of the elders, “What shall I do? My thoughts are always turned to lust without allowing me an hour’s respite, and my soul is tormented by it.” He said to him, “Every time the demons suggest these thoughts to you, do not argue with them. For the activity of demons always is to suggest, and suggestions are not sins, for they cannot compel. But it rests with you to welcome them, or not to welcome them. Do you know what the Midianites did? They adorned their daughters and presented them to the Israelites. They did not compel anyone, but those who consented, sinned with them, while the others were enraged and put them to death. It is the same with thoughts.” The brother answered the old man, “What shall I do, then, for I am weak and passion overcomes me?” He said to him, “Watch your thoughts, and every time they begin to say something to you, do not answer them but rise and pray; kneel down, saying, ‘Son of God, have mercy on me.’”

There are some things we must learn from this story. First, we must become aware –“Watch your thoughts.” Be aware that thoughts by nature are random, and any thought can come, but they cannot compel us to do anything. Even more, we must not be shocked, since we are fallen people, at the nature of the thoughts. Some will be minor, some will be scandalous, and some even blasphemous.

Second, you are not condemned by the experience of random thoughts – suggestions and thoughts are not sins. The Lord of the mosquitoes would have us feel condemned just because the mosquitoes are flying around. Condemnation will only provide the breeding ground for more mosquitoes.

Finally, as the Fathers say, 99.99 percent of us will never be free of logismoi. It is a rare saint who attends hesychasm, or internal stillness. This may be due in part to the fact that most of us don’t take prayer and meditation very seriously or we allow the busyness of life to move prayer the the edges of our daily life.

Even if it is true that the logismoi will be with us always, we must fight, but we need to fight well. Here is the most remarkable recommendation about how to fight – we combat our obsessive thoughts by ignoring them. Ignoring them? At least this means that we draw no conclusions from what we think. This may seem a bit naïve since random thoughts are so relentless.

Ignoring them would not be enough if that is all that we did. Listen again: “Watch your thoughts, and every time they begin to say something to you, do not answer them but rise and pray; kneel down, saying, ‘Son of God, have mercy on me.’” Repentance? This is the way to fight the mosquitoes? Yes, it is because when we turn our backs to them we must turn to Jesus Christ to ask for his mercy. We must do both, or we will not fight well.

This is how St. Mary did it fighting against “the beasts.”  This is how anyone can use repentance and the Jesus Prayer to become as mentally and spiritually healthy as possible. Please, don’t misunderstand me. There is genuine mental illness, so sometimes medicine and therapy is necessary. Yet we have a powerful tool to add to our therapy, a weapons in this mental and spiritual war. Imagine if you went to therapy, and the Doctor said, I recommend repentance! It would be shocking no?

I can dream of a life free of the logismoi. Yet even as I wrote this, a bunch landed on my brain and wanted blood. I ignored them and ask for mercy. So, may the Lord help you to fight, and to fight well. The mosquitoes are buzzing. Ignore them for they speak no truth, and turn to the Lord for mercy.

Where Do I Begin?

Published on June 1, 2010 in Orthodox Life and Podvig - Spiritual Struggle. 4 Comments

Ok, so you have to reach back for this one. There was this movie called “Love Story” which was made in 1970. Ali McGraw and Ryan O’Neal were the main actors. I was 18 years old and I remember thinking that it was a pretty sappy movie. One nugget of wisdom served as a hallmark of the story. Ryan did something stupid (as men are prone to do) and realizing his mistake, he apologized to Ali. She replied, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”

Even at 18, I thought “Oh, really? If you love someone, you never need to apologize?” It just didn’t seem right to me and many of my peers made fun of it. Even Ryan O’Neal made fun of it in a movie he made after Love Story. It’s necessary and healing to apologize. I would hate to be in a relationship where I never had a chance to check my pride and say “I’m sorry.”

If the Orthodox followed this advice, then our constant apology (confession) to God would either means that God doesn’t love us or we don’t love God. Love means never having to say you’re sorry-this axiom is foolishness, but it’s made me how much we base our love for God on a romantic model. For example, I hear often hear someone say that they have lost their passion or their zeal for God. For them, Orthodox life has become dry, boring, and routine. Such a person will even ponder if converting to Orthodoxy was the right thing to do. After all the promises made by Orthodoxy about spiritual life, where was the zeal they once had? Where is the passion of their first love?

Marriage counselors speak about a moment in all relationships when the romantic bubble pops. This is called the “domestic moment.” At this moment, you look at your wife and think, “Oh no! She’s just like her mother.” You look at your husband and think, “Oh no! He’s just like his father.” Passion has disappeared and it’s a moment of real crisis in a relationship. It can happen in a year, or two, or even in seven years. If a couple does not understand that this is a natural part of the process, they will suffer. With patience and forgiveness, eventually passion will return. Some people never figure this out and the result is divorce. Even after their third or fourth marriage, some folks can’t live beyond the domestic moment. Our poetry, music and art have convinced us that love is feeling. The Righteous Brothers warned us how terrible it is when “you’ve lost that lovin’ feeling.”

If a couple passes this crisis point, the relationship will deepen and come to rest on a solid foundation of love, friendship, and commitment. The couple will discover that feelings will come and go, and that’s all right. They learn that the quality of their relationship can never judged on how they are feeling at any particular moment. Love is measured by commitment. I would say that if no feeling of love has appeared in months, then there may be a problem that needs to be addressed.

We seem to have the same problem with faith. Entering into the Faith, we are enchanted with and passionate about Holy Orthodoxy. It’s a true spiritual (romantic) bubble and it’s a wonderful place to be. Then, inevitably the bubble pops and the once beautiful Bride who seemed so exotic and enticing is now the Old Lady who tells us to stand in vigils, repeat the same prayers over and over, and fast. Surely, we didn’t sign on for this and we wonder if this is all there is or ever will be. It’s a moment of spiritual “domestic moment” and many fall away because they don’t feel anything. Rest assured that at such times our spiritual enemies are ready to parade before us all kinds of interesting and entertaining enticements to get us away from our first love so that we can feel once again.

We must learn to be patient and allow our faith and obedience, and not our feelings, to become the bedrock of our Orthodox life. Consider these words from Jesus: “He that loves Father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he that love son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” Ouch! Who do we love more that family? Do we really think that when Jesus talks about the love we have for family that he is speaking about our feelings? No, Jesus is putting love on a much higher plane than feelings.

Orthodox readers will forgive me, but I wanted to speak about Mother Theresa, once of the Catholic faith, now departed. In a book that appeared some time after her death, she spoke about her feelings towards God. She said that during her time as a novice (about two years), she felt many wonderful consolations from God. Then, the consolations left and never returned, not even once. Now consider the fact that she cared for the dying in streets of Calcutta for decades. How could she have embraced such a difficult life without the reward of at least some small consolation from God? I think that she knew that loving God was not about feeling. It was about faith, obedience and commitment. If this is really the case, then she loved God more than most of us.

I wish that Orthodox Christians would quickly get past their domestic moment so that they can become the true friends of God. Again the Lord told us, “You are my friends if you do what I command you.” His Grace, Hierotheos Vlachos said that a Saint is someone who is a friend of God. Friendship with God is the hallmark of holiness. We might have thought that being a saint meant that you are swept up by a mighty wave of passion about the Lord that carries you to the Kingdom. No, the love of a friend for a friend is not Eros –burning passion and zeal. It is an abiding love that keeps the commitment strong and carries the friendship over the years ahead. Even if a friend disappoints you or belittles you, you remain committed. This is true friendship and the Lord showed his friendship even to those who abandoned him. He remained faithful and true even to the Cross.

The wonderful feelings of your First Love for God will return and  leave again, return and leave, return and leave. This cycle will repeat many times because the Lord watches to see if we will stand and remain a friend of God when his consolation is absent. The Lord knows that dry times are difficult, but watches to see if we will slip away again and go running after other pleasures that promises to make us feel better, or we will remain the friends of God and trust in His love and stand on our Faith and not on our feelings.

Our relationship to God is a love story. We must deepen our understanding of what love is and how it is experienced. We need a firm conviction that God love’s us whether we feel it or not. This is how it was for all the saints.  Feelings come and feelings go. So be it. I will remain a committed friend of God no matter what I feel.

Terrorist cells in Orthodox Churches

Published on February 17, 2010 in Uncategorized. 5 Comments

Latest news reports are that five terrorist cell groups have been operating in many of our churches. They have been identified as: Bin Sleepin, Bin Arguin, Bin Fightin, Bin Complainin, and Bin Missin.

Their leader,Lucifer Bin Workin, trained these groups to destroy the Body of Christ. The plan is to come into the church disguised as Christians and to work within the church to discourage, disrupt, and destroy.

However, there have been reports of a sixth group. A tiny cell known by the name Bin Prayin is actually the only effective counter terrorism force in the church. Unlike other terrorist cells, the Bin Prayin team does not blend in with whoever and whatever comes along.

Bin Prayin does whatever is needed to uplift and encourage the Body of Christ.. We have noticed that the Bin Prayin cell group is made up of members with different characteristics. They have Bin Watchin, Bin Waitin, Bin Fastin, and Bin Longin for their Master, Jesus Christ to return. (However, you can spot them if you bin lookin and bin goin.)  No Church is exempt!

99 and 44/100% Pure!

Published on February 15, 2010 in Lent. 1 Comment

I’m sure that most of you have used Ivory Soap. In the old days, they used to advertise by saying that Ivory Soap was 99 and 44/100% pure. It was so pure it would float on the water. It wasn’t expensive soap, so mom would let us carve it into a boat shape and put a little sail on it. This would encourage us to stay longer in bath. Maybe mom hoped that her usually dirty children would eventually become 99 and 44/100 percent clean.

How clean do we have to be before God will accept us? Is it true that in God’s sight, we are just dirty children and no amount of Ivory soap will ever make us clean enough? Think about how much you hear “Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner” in an Orthodox worship service. The Orthodox must be especially dirty! I remember reading about a great monastic father who on his death bed proclaimed tearfully that he was not ready to die, but wanted to live longer. The brothers were astounded because they had experienced the holiness of this elder. They cried out, “You, Father, have no need for further repentance.” The Elder replied, “Brothers, I have not yet begun to repent!” How could this great ascetic still feel so unclean that he was not ready to go? I didn’t like the story because I thought that if this elder felt he needed more repentance, by comparison, I am dirty beyond redemption!

Raised in the western tradition, I believed that my dirt came from my father, who got it from his father, and so on all the way back to Adam. This dirt was passed in the dirty act of sexual intercourse, and in like manner, I will pass the dirt to my children. Since God is holy (even purer than Ivory Soap), it is impossible for a dirty creature like me to hope for any direct contact with Him. So I must try my best to get cleaner, yet how clean do I have to be? Would it be enough for God if I am 50% pure – 70% pure – 90% pure – 99 44/100% pure, or do I have to be purer than Ivory Soap?

If this theology is correct, then what am I to do with the feast of “The Meeting of the Lord?”The Mother of God came to be “purified.” Purified? Why would she need to be purified? There was no act of sexual intercourse that produced the Lord Jesus, and after the birth, she remained a virgin. This law of purification came from Leviticus 12 and it reflects the tradition of “Churching”, when a woman who has given birth is absent from church for forty days.The Mother of God needed no such purification, yet she came anyway.

This is a dilemma. Either there is something wrong with the western tradition, or I am missing something here. In fact, both of these are true.

First, we must reconsider the idea that we are dirty children. I’ve learned that Orthodoxy does not hold me personally responsible for the sin of Adam, nor am I compelled to commit that sin because I have inherited my dirtiness. St. John Chrysostom refuted the idea that the sexual act is sinful and said that we accuse God of sin, since He is the author of the act. St. John said that it is sinful only when it is devoid of love and fidelity within the sacrament of marriage. So, there is no dirt to be passed from one generation to the next (drat! I had gotten used to blaming old dad for everything!)

Still, the fall of our Parents continues to have its effect because by their disobedience, sin entered into the world. What effect did this have? The biblical word used most for “sin” means “to miss the mark.” Because of sin, the entire human race is missing the mark. The whole goal and purpose of life is contact with God, yet despite the best of our intentions, we are not moving towards that goal. As a consequence of our loss of communion with God, we are mortal, broken, and misguided, but the idea that sin makes us dirty in the eyes of God is absent from Orthodoxy.

So then, we come back to the question: In what way was the Virgin in need of purification?

When Moses came before the Burning Bush, the Lord said that Moses had to take off his shoes because he was standing on holy ground. Are shoes unholy? No, that isn’t the point. The point is that Moses was having a direct contact and experience of God and a response was needed. The Mosaic Law stated that when any human being came into direct contact with God, they were to offer rites of purification in response to that encounter. Of course, how could anyone have an encounter with God and not respond?

The Virgin came to the Rite of Purification not because she was involved in some sinful act that made her dirty in God’s sight. She was not “immaculately conceived” (as the West believes because they want to protect her from being dirty), and even though she was “filled with grace,” she was a member of the human race, a race that needed salvation. But more to the point, she had participated in the holiest act ever known, an encounter with God more direct and personal than experienced by Moses and the Prophets before her. Her presence at the Rite of Purification was a joyful response to that encounter, by which God became present to us all.

When we come to Church, we have the opportunity to have a direct and personal encounter with God. Christ will be present on the altar and those who commune will touch and taste the Lord. Could there be any more direct encounter than this? So, the Church asks us to prepare ourselves for this great and awesome spiritual event by fasting, prayer, and confession. But have you thought about what your response should be after communion?

Like the Virgin, our Champion Leader, we should submit to the Rite of Purification. Now, a great purifying rite is upon us – Lent! Here is a chance for us to respond to our encounter with Christ by using the tools of this season to help us overcome the wayward wandering of our hearts. If all we do is struggle to abstain from meat, then fasting serves no real purpose. But if fasting helps us to refrain from being judgmental, hard hearted, mean, angry, lustful, spiteful, etc., then we have truly entered into the Rite of Purification and it gives witness to the fact that “God is with us.”

The Theotokos did it and she was purer than a bar of Ivory Soap. It’s time for me to get in the bath!

Just what the Doctor ordered!

Published on November 30, 2009 in Uncategorized. 1 Comment

All things medical seem to be on the minds of many people today. There’s hardly a single news broadcast that doesn’t feature a story about it.We wonder if “Obama-care” will pass through Congress and if it does, we wonder what the impact will be. Will there be adequate healthcare for the elderly, will families be able to afford coverage for their children, and will employers continue to offer insurance if there’s a public option, and so on? So, as I said, these seem to be very fearful and anxious times.

We are told that the answer to our fears is to just stay healthy. We are told that much of what we suffer could have been prevented. It’s just a matter of lifestyle choices. Therefore, it may be that in the future, our insurance and its cost will be tied to the lifestyle that we choose. I read somewhere that some states are trying to tie the cost of your premium to your BMI, or body mass index.Just the other day, I heard a dialogue between a student and a college administrator about the college’s new policy of making obese students take a class on losing weight or they would not be allowed to graduate.

So, preventive medicine may be just what the doctor ordered. I wonder though, if we all took better care of ourselves, would there be a need for so many doctors? I sometimes kid people by saying when we part company, “Stay out of trouble.” Then I add, “Well, I’m not sure about that because if you stay out of trouble, then I’ll be out of a job.” They just look back and smile. If we all stayed well, as much as possible, what would doctors do for a living?

We often speak of the Church as our spiritual hospital and that we are here because we are sick. There is preventative medicine –like prayer, fasting, and study-but because of our lifestyle choices, we have not followed the path to health. So, what would the Doctor order?

The Pharisees grumbled when Jesus went into the house of Matthew, the writer of the Gospel. After all, he was a tax collector, and they were the most hated people of all. Why would anyone in their right mind enter into a place filled with such uncleanness and spiritual disease? It is here that the Lord reminds them that the sick need a doctor. Then the Great Physician gives us his prescription: “I desire mercy and not sacrifice.” Mercy – this is a strange recommendation for the spiritually sick, or is it?

Every time we come to the Church, in fact any time we turn to the Lord, he meets us withmercy and not with judgment. If this were not so, then despair would most certainly kill us. Mercy renews us and strengthens us to continue our battletowards salvation.Yet, is the Lord’s mercy the only thing that Jesus meant? He did say earlier that the merciful would obtain mercy. So, mercy is something that we are to show as well. How might mercy be the very thing that the doctor ordered?

First, I can show mercy to myself.

I start with myself because I have found that if I have little mercy for myself, I will not be able to show it to others. I don’t mean that I simply justify and excuse everything that I do. I mean that I need to show mercy to my soul. I constantly hand my soul over to the robbers who take away for it everything that is good and leave my soul wounded and bleeding. Like the Samaritan, I could bind and dress my soul’s wounds. I could give it a little time to pray, a few morsels of spiritual reading, or an occasional visit to the hospital. Is that so hard to do? Why then, am I so reluctant to be merciful to myself? Like the Sadducee, the Pharisee, and the Scribe in the story of the Good Samaritan, I just pass by and show no mercy to my soul. I am too busy to bother. By showing no mercy to my soul, I find I have no mercy for others because my poor beaten and starve soul has nothing to give.

Then, I can show mercy to my family.

It used to be said that charity begins at home. I use to jest if charity begins at home, it usually stays at home. Yet, in truth, if I cannot show mercy at home, it is likely that I will not show it elsewhere.I used to counsel married couples who had a Christian orientation that they should try to practice the Sermon on the Mount in their marital relationship. If Jesus said that if an enemy compels us to go one mile, we should go two. If we are struck on one check, then turn the other. Most Christians would acknowledge that this is the way a Christian should act; yes that is until the Christian gets home, and then mercy sits outside the door.Disagreements occur between all loving couples and between parents and children.We all fail each other continually and the lack of mercy in a family can be shocking. I also counseled many couples bound for divorce, and not long into the interview, it was clear that mercy never lived in the house.

I can show mercy to my priest and to my Church.

The same truth applies here. If I cannot show mercy at Church, it is unlikely that I will show it elsewhere. Of course, disagreements are natural and we fail each other constantly. Yet, you would think that people seeking mercy from God would easily show mercy to each other. I would ask you to take a moment and look at your brothers and sisters in Church. What do you really know about them? What sorrows and burdens do they carry? If you don’t have a clue, then you never have to show mercy by binding up their wounds.Does your priest have wounds as well? I guarantee you that he does, andhe has many burdens to carry. When you offer to lift them a little, you show mercy to your priest.

Finally, I can show mercy the stranger and to my neighbor.

If I am merciful to myself, merciful to my family, and merciful to my church family, then I am better able to be merciful to strangers or to my neighbor. Again, we must be honest. What do we know about our neighbors other than that they are bothersome and irritating at times? The Lord said that we should love our neighbor as ourselves. God help me then because I don’t love my neighbors at all. Frankly I don’t really know much about them. If they have some personal problem, I’m sure that I’ll be the last to know. Life could beat them up and I wouldn’t see them because mercy does not guide my vision. If I am a merciful person, then I would have a merciful eye that would see the wounds in the man by the side of the road.

“Go learn this,” the Great Doctor says. “I desire mercy instead of sacrifice. Happy are you when you show mercy, for you shall obtain mercy.”