Archive for the 'Lent' Category

99 and 44/100% Pure!

Published
by
frjohn
on February 15, 2010
in Lent
. 1 Comment

I’m sure that most of you have used Ivory Soap. In the old days, they used to advertise by saying that Ivory Soap was 99 and 44/100% pure. It was so pure it would float on the water. It wasn’t expensive soap, so mom would let us carve it into a boat shape and put a little sail on it. This would encourage us to stay longer in bath. Maybe mom hoped that her usually dirty children would eventually become 99 and 44/100 percent clean.

How clean do we have to be before God will accept us? Is it true that in God’s sight, we are just dirty children and no amount of Ivory soap will ever make us clean enough? Think about how much you hear “Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner” in an Orthodox worship service. The Orthodox must be especially dirty! I remember reading about a great monastic father who on his death bed proclaimed tearfully that he was not ready to die, but wanted to live longer. The brothers were astounded because they had experienced the holiness of this elder. They cried out, “You, Father, have no need for further repentance.” The Elder replied, “Brothers, I have not yet begun to repent!” How could this great ascetic still feel so unclean that he was not ready to go? I didn’t like the story because I thought that if this elder felt he needed more repentance, by comparison, I am dirty beyond redemption!

Raised in the western tradition, I believed that my dirt came from my father, who got it from his father, and so on all the way back to Adam. This dirt was passed in the dirty act of sexual intercourse, and in like manner, I will pass the dirt to my children. Since God is holy (even purer than Ivory Soap), it is impossible for a dirty creature like me to hope for any direct contact with Him. So I must try my best to get cleaner, yet how clean do I have to be? Would it be enough for God if I am 50% pure - 70% pure – 90% pure – 99 44/100% pure, or do I have to be purer than Ivory Soap?

If this theology is correct, then what am I to do with the feast of “The Meeting of the Lord?”The Mother of God came to be “purified.” Purified? Why would she need to be purified? There was no act of sexual intercourse that produced the Lord Jesus, and after the birth, she remained a virgin. This law of purification came from Leviticus 12 and it reflects the tradition of “Churching”, when a woman who has given birth is absent from church for forty days.The Mother of God needed no such purification, yet she came anyway.

This is a dilemma. Either there is something wrong with the western tradition, or I am missing something here. In fact, both of these are true.

First, we must reconsider the idea that we are dirty children. I’ve learned that Orthodoxy does not hold me personally responsible for the sin of Adam, nor am I compelled to commit that sin because I have inherited my dirtiness. St. John Chrysostom refuted the idea that the sexual act is sinful and said that we accuse God of sin, since He is the author of the act. St. John said that it is sinful only when it is devoid of love and fidelity within the sacrament of marriage. So, there is no dirt to be passed from one generation to the next (drat! I had gotten used to blaming old dad for everything!)

Still, the fall of our Parents continues to have its effect because by their disobedience, sin entered into the world. What effect did this have? The biblical word used most for “sin” means “to miss the mark.” Because of sin, the entire human race is missing the mark. The whole goal and purpose of life is contact with God, yet despite the best of our intentions, we are not moving towards that goal. As a consequence of our loss of communion with God, we are mortal, broken, and misguided, but the idea that sin makes us dirty in the eyes of God is absent from Orthodoxy.

So then, we come back to the question: In what way was the Virgin in need of purification?

When Moses came before the Burning Bush, the Lord said that Moses had to take off his shoes because he was standing on holy ground. Are shoes unholy? No, that isn’t the point. The point is that Moses was having a direct contact and experience of God and a response was needed. The Mosaic Law stated that when any human being came into direct contact with God, they were to offer rites of purification in response to that encounter. Of course, how could anyone have an encounter with God and not respond?

The Virgin came to the Rite of Purification not because she was involved in some sinful act that made her dirty in God’s sight. She was not “immaculately conceived” (as the West believes because they want to protect her from being dirty), and even though she was “filled with grace,” she was a member of the human race, a race that needed salvation. But more to the point, she had participated in the holiest act ever known, an encounter with God more direct and personal than experienced by Moses and the Prophets before her. Her presence at the Rite of Purification was a joyful response to that encounter, by which God became present to us all.

When we come to Church, we have the opportunity to have a direct and personal encounter with God. Christ will be present on the altar and those who commune will touch and taste the Lord. Could there be any more direct encounter than this? So, the Church asks us to prepare ourselves for this great and awesome spiritual event by fasting, prayer, and confession. But have you thought about what your response should be after communion?

Like the Virgin, our Champion Leader, we should submit to the Rite of Purification. Now, a great purifying rite is upon us - Lent! Here is a chance for us to respond to our encounter with Christ by using the tools of this season to help us overcome the wayward wandering of our hearts. If all we do is struggle to abstain from meat, then fasting serves no real purpose. But if fasting helps us to refrain from being judgmental, hard hearted, mean, angry, lustful, spiteful, etc., then we have truly entered into the Rite of Purification and it gives witness to the fact that “God is with us.”

The Theotokos did it and she was purer than a bar of Ivory Soap. It’s time for me to get in the bath!

Goat Boy

Published
by
frjohn
on February 22, 2009
in Lent, Orthodox Life, Podvig - Spiritual Struggle, Prayer and Relationships
. 2 Comments

Be honest! Do you really think about the second coming? After all, it’s been about 2,000 years, so why worry now? I don’t like thinking about judgment because I hate to accountable to anyone. I wish God would follow His own advice: don’t judge lest you be judged. God should be so loving and forgiving that he will just pass over all of it. Most people today seem to believe that when you die, you just walk into the warm light and all is well. Did anyone see the movie “Ghost?”

When you consider how fearfully the Bible portrays the end of all things, we it might do us good to consider what it will be like when we stand before the judgment seat of Christ. Certainly, the Church doesn’t teach that it’ll be all warm fuzzies and bright lights. The Lord said it would be a sheep and goats kind of experience. What does that mean and what’s the difference between sheep and goats anyway?

I looked it up and it’s not easy to tell them apart by outward appearance. Sheep say “baa” and goats say “maa.” Sheep have 54 chromosomes and goats have 60. Goats have a beard and divided upper lip, which sheep do not have. Sheep tails also hang down, even when short or docked, while the tails of goats are held upwards. Fascinating, isn’t it? But really, why do the goats get all the bad stuff?

Jesus can tell them apart. In his parable of the Judgment, he separates the two and gives us the distinguishing mark that divides them – compassion. Compassion? Oh, I wish he hadn’t of said that. Why can’t it be something else like how well I followed the rules, or kept the fast, or prayed, or how well I avoided gossip or turned from lustful thoughts?

Blessed Augustine said that we should not resist the first coming so that we will not dread the second. By first coming, does he mean when Christ was born and lived? No, he means that Christ first coming is when he comes to us in the poor, the imprisoned, the hungry, the thirsty, the homeless, etc. The measure of judgment will not be how well we kept the rules, but how much compassion we have in my heart, a compassion to moves us to action.

I must be a goat boy then, and this goat boy would like to ask, is this a fair way to judge? After all, I’ve been doing religious work for over 30 years. I’ve learned to do the services, I go to confession. I’ve prayed and fasted and stood in 3 hour vigils. Shouldn’t I be judge on my many achievements and compliments and sacrifices?

When I take an honest look at my so called achievements, they aren’t so great really. Most of what I’ve accomplished happened because I had a lot of people who loved me enough to help me succeed. What have I ever done by myself that amounted to anything? The answer is nothing at all really.

And I’m glad that I won’t be judged on how well I keep the spiritual disciplines because I make a lot of excuses. Yet, unlike spiritual disciplines, everyone, absolutely everyone can exercise compassion and show mercy. It doesn’t take training, or intelligence, or wealth or beauty. It just takes heart.

I have a goat boy heart-hard and unfeeling. Goat boy needs a softer heart, so maybe the purpose of Lent can take on a new meaning. I can try to break up the stony ground of my heart with the plow of fasting and prayer. If I can break up this hard ground, perhaps the tender shoot of mercy will spring up, and the great Shepherd will move me to the winning column. I can eat more simply, so that I can share a little food and drink or part with a little of my cash. Maybe I could share some of my time or empty my closet of clothes I haven’t worn in years. Goat boy would rather not do any of this but prove my love for God with my piety, but you know how it’s going go for goat boys. I heard the Judge say, forgive and you will be forgive, show mercy, and mercy will be shown to you. I was hungry and you fed me, naked and you clothed me, thirsty and you gave me water to drink. Ok, I get it, but Goat boy wishes that he would also say something like, “hey you didn’t break the fasting rules”, or “Way to go! You really nailed that prayer rule.”

Isaiah agreed with the Lord (no surprise). In chapter 58, he says.

5 Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,
only a day for a man to humble himself?
Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed
and for lying on sackcloth and ashes?
Is that what you call a fast,
a day acceptable to the LORD ?

6 “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?

7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness a]”>[a] will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.

9 Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
“If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,

10 and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.

Sigh! Ok, goat boy understands. It’s time to say “baaaaaa.”

The Voice

Published
by
frjohn
on May 20, 2008
in Lent, Podvig - Spiritual Struggle and Uncategorized
. 0 Comments

 


“The hour is coming when the dead will leave their graves at the sound of his voice.”  John 5:28

In the time of Jesus, sheep were not raised specifically to be slaughtered for food, but they were raised for their wool, and so they remained in the flock all their lives. Sheep came to know the voice of their shepherds and hey would flee away from the voice of other shepherds. Jesus said, “The sheep know the voice of their shepherd and they follow him, but they will never follow a stranger. They will run away from him because they do not recognize a strange voice.

Honestly, I’ve spent a lot of my life following voices that were not that of the Shepherd. Also, there were times when I thought I was following the Lord, and it was another voice. People often confess that they are confused and uncertain about God’s will. We have trouble figuring out just what the Shepherd wants us to do. Certainly, this may be due to the fact that many things speak to us and compete for our attention. So how do we recognize the voice of Christ in the midst of all the voices that speak to us?

Let’s go back to Genesis for a moment, a time when creation first heard the voice of the Shepherd. The Bible says that God created by speaking a word: Let there be…and it was so. The Fathers point out that God doesn’t have lips or a tongue or a voice box, nor did he utter sounds that travel through the air to strike some cosmic eardrum. The idea of speaking has to do with expression, a revelation of the inner hidden being of God. (a side note: the Vigil begins with a silent censing to remind how God began creation in silence; that is in a place beyond our hearing.)

The voice of the Shepherd is the same today. It is heard primarily with the “ears” of the soul, and it creates something in us because the Voice reveals the unseen God. Yet, like the sheep of Palestine, it may take us a while until we only hear the voice of the Shepherd, and no other. It is important then, that we sharpen our hearing by immersing our selves in all the ways that God has made available to us to hear His Voice. What are those ways?

For the Orthodox, the sources of the Voice are rich indeed. The Voice of the Shepherd can be heard in the prayers of the Church, in the beauty of the liturgy, in the grace of an icon, in the diligent study of the Scriptures and the writings of the Fathers, in the lives of the Saints, and even in our dialogue with other Orthodox Christians: bishops, monastics, priests, and brothers and sisters. From these kinds of sources, we can begin to sharpen our ears to hear the Voice so that we can hear the Voice that speaks in the solitude of our hearts.

Is it any wonder then that our enemy does all he can to separate us from these sources? His goal is to deaden our hearing and then fill our hearts with all kinds of voices until we know only confusion and uncertainty. The hunter of the sheep distracts us with noise, hurry, and burdens. He increases the volume to drown out the Voice. He increases the pace of life so that we don’t have time to listen to the Voice. He doesn’t have to do much with our burdens for we excel in burdening ourselves until we have no ears for the Voice. In the end, we become separated from the flock and are easy prey for the hunter.

There is one good thing about this: if we become separated, the Good Shepherd will come to find us. And he has help. Every good shepherd has a sheepdog or two to help keep the sheep together. The Good Shepherd has two sheepdogs. Do you know their names? David the King wrote: “Surely, goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life…”  All my life, these two dogs, Goodness and Mercy, have been at my heels, barking and trying to get me back into the flock. Thank God!

Perhaps I have finally learned that it is best to stay in the sheepfold of the Good Shepherd, the Church. In this place, I must listen carefully for the voice of the Shepherd until the day comes when I hear no other, or at least flee from the ones that I know are not the true, life giving Voice of the Shepherd.

Someday, that Voice will call me from the grave.

 

 

Can I get a witness?

Published
by
frjohn
on May 20, 2008
in Lent and Podvig - Spiritual Struggle
. 0 Comments

 

It’s been about 4, maybe 5 years ago, but I remember it very well. The clergy of ROCOR (Russian Orthodox Church Outside of Russia) gathered together to meet with representatives of the Moscow Patriarchate. Given the history of the relationship between these two, it was a miracle that we were even meeting together in the same room. The first day did not go well. Many ROCOR clergy lined up to air their grievances and concerns and the Russia delegates also vented their fears and grievances. The room was filled with suspicion, anger, and resentment. I wondered how it would all end.

Then, on the second day, we had a presentation on the work in Russia on the New Martyrs of the Communist Yoke.  We discovered that they were working diligently to discover as many of them as possible. This work had been going on for some time and since the fall of the Soviet Union, the Russian Church had been able to access KGB archives to find the records of the New Martyrs. It seemed to me that with the remembrance of the New Martyrs, the atmosphere of the room began to change. The more the New Martyrs were mentioned and discussed, the more brotherly things became.

Of course, not all the problems were solved that day. In fact, it would take about another 3-4 years before these problems would be resolved. But I believe that I witnessed the power of the intervention of the New Martyrs that day, and I believe that it was by their intercession, that we have finally attained unity between us.

Given our rather protected and cultured way of life, it comes as shocking news to many of us that even today people are dying for the faith. Certainly, most of us will never have to die a cruel death as a martyr. We know that life can be uncertain, but few us of expect to face a life and death decision as a witness of our faith. We believe that is more likely that we will die from cancer or some affliction of old age than for Christ. This is why we call them New Martyrs. It reminds us that the age of the martyrs has not ended. Christians are dying and will be killed for the Faith.

As a group, the New Martyrs are representative of all of us -some were monastics and ascetics, some were clergy or hierarchs, most of them had families and worked jobs. In other words, they were just like us. When it came to the ultimate sacrifice, they found Faith and died for Christ. Some were shot, hung, or poisoned and many were sent to prisons where they died from hunger or exposure. Some managed to live until they were released, and went on to serve the church in other ways. These living witnesses we call “Confessors.” Today, many of these confessors have now died and left us. There were a treasure, a blessing to the Faith, but often they escaped our attention.

Such a cloud of witnesses (millions) may make us feel quite inadequate. Where did they find the courage? What is the witness of my life as compared to theirs? I like to believe that if faced with a life and death decision for Christ, I would choose Christ. Oh, I like to believe it, but I have trouble deciding on whether to go to Church or not, or keep the fast or not.

It seems to me that most of us labor under the nagging belief that an effective witness is only possible under extreme circumstances. With the seduction of our material well being, the advances of science, and the atmosphere of religious pluralism and secularism, being a witness for Christ seems more a matter of wading through gray and muddy water than making decisive black and white decisions. Seeing that we live a lifestyle that is no different from our neighbors, we wonder how can we witness to the truth of Christ and be believed?

Anyone who hangs around Orthodoxy soon realizes that the Faith is ascetic. The Lord commanded that we pick up our cross, deny ourselves, and follow Him. This command alone gives us plenty of material for a witness to the world. The Church tries to help us by giving us disciplines that will help us to separate from the world. Certainly, prayer, fasting, attending services, and so on, help us personally, but they also give a witness to those around us. Our Orthodox piety says that there is another reality beyond this world, and we are called to live in that world.

Is it difficult to do this today? Yes, it is difficult, but then it has always been difficult. The New Martyrs of Russia show us that as difficult as it might be, it can be done. They waded through the muddy water of 20th century life and they show us that while we wade through the mud of the 21st century, we too can be confessors of the Faith. The age of the martyrs has not ended.

Can I get a witness?

Holy saints, martyrs and confessors of the Russian church, pray to God for us.

Goat

Published
by
frjohn
on May 20, 2008
in Lent and Podvig - Spiritual Struggle
. 0 Comments


Matthew 25:31-46

Those who have read the article, The River of Fire, encounter in the text a rather interesting idea: if we embrace the life of God in this life, then, in the next life, we will naturally embrace what we have already experienced. If we reject His presence in this life, then it will be our tendency to reject it in the next.

 This is an interesting idea, especially when we consider the idea of a Last Judgment.  In the west, we tend to think of judgment like a scene from a courtroom drama. This is a bit ridiculous because who among us would stand before God and pretend to be innocent about anything? If judgment is like a court, then as soon as the judge would ask how I plead, the answer could only be “guilty.”

 Yet, is this really how it’s done? Does God really need to consider evidence for and against a defendant? Does He need a prosecutor, a defense, witnesses and a jury?

 The Blessed Augustine said, “Let us not resist the first coming so that we will not dread the second.”  The first coming-does that mean the Incarnation? No, Augustine means that Christ is coming to us right now in the poor, the imprisoned, the hungry, the thirsty, the homeless, and the lost. We can experience the presence of God at Church, and respond. We can experience the presence of God in prayer, and respond. We can experience the presence of God in the shining eyes and loving heart of a friend or loved one. We can experience the presence of God in a glorious sunset or in the quiet stillness of the forest.  Yet, the Shepherd says that none of these will determine whether we stand on His right or on His left! Apparently, the measure of judgment will not be how well I kept the fasting rules, but how much compassion I had in my heart.

Is this a fair way to judge? Well, let’s go back to the idea of the article, The River of Fire. Christ said that he came not to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many. He fed the hungry and healed the sick. He sought the lost and opened the eyes of the blind. He sealed his identity as a servant by dying on the Cross for all of us. Well, if he was that way in his earthly life, why does it surprise us that He is still this way today, and that he comes to us in the person of those who are in need? 

 The goats are shocked and cry out, “When Lord did you come to us?” They had not known him in his first coming to them in the guise of the poor, the hungry, the naked, and the thirsty. The Lord’s word to depart is a simple recognition that it is impossible to have fellowship with someone that you previously rejected. They did not know him, and though they now see plainly that he is the Lord, they do not really know him. He who sits on the throne of judgment had said, “Forgive and you will be forgive, show mercy, and mercy will be shown to you.”  Mercy is the essence of the Shepherd. The merciful will be most comfortable in his presence. The Merciless just won’t know him.  The scripture says that even at his appearance they will flee from Him.

 It isn’t up to us to choose whom we are to help, or not help. If the Lord is truly our Shepherd, then each day He will come to us as He chooses. We will find Him in the troubled teenager and in the lonely widow. We will find him in the poor man on the street or in a broken-hearted spouse. We find him in the lost that have never heard the Good News of Jesus Christ. He comes to us in neighbors and even in our enemies.

 Christ did not come into the world to condemn it. St. Paul said that for those who are in Christ, there is not condemnation. It seems to me that judgment is a matter of how I condemn myself, because I choose to reject the Lord when he comes to me. And should I continue to reject him, his word to me will be true: “Depart, because you don’t know who I am, and I don’t know you.

 May all of us embrace Christ in His first coming so that we will embrace Him in his last coming.

 

I can’t proclaim the Victory of Orthodoxy

Published
by
frjohn
on May 20, 2008
in Lent and Podvig - Spiritual Struggle
. 0 Comments


 

The first Sunday of Lent is called the Sunday of Orthodoxy, or the Victory of Orthodoxy. Historically, this Sunday commemorates the restoration of the use of Icons in worship in 843 AD. 

Someone will always ask how the Orthodox came by all of this icon business. Surely, they maintain, the word “icon” is not in the Bible. In fact, it is - St. Paul wrote in Colossians: “Christ is the image of the invisible God.” The word “image” is “icon” in Greek. The issue of icons is more than how we look at art. The issue of icons is the truth that God became flesh and dwelt among us. The Incarnation is the victory of Orthodoxy.  In Christ, God wrote the first icon. God became visible. He, who had no form before and could not be represented in any work of art, has now taken shape. When we look into the face of Christ, we see the Father. Therefore, we can represent God in art because he has represented Himself. To claim that such representation is wrong is to reject the truth that God became flesh lived among us. It is to leave God in the invisible realm.

 Orthodoxy is not just an ancient faith, a museum piece meant to arouse curiosity. This faith, which until recently seemed to be the quaint, old world faith of minorities and immigrants, has become a faith that not only answers the questions of 21st century North Americans, but challenges the self-identity and pre-suppositions of those of us raised in the West. We believe that we are beginning to witness the rise of American Orthodoxy. We are not sure of its course, but we have no reason to doubt its victory, for in all cultures and in all places the Faith has held its ground. It withstood pagan Rome and transformed it. It suffered and survived Islam and the Turkish Empire. It suffered greatly under communism, but emerged purified and triumphant.

So, I recognize and affirm the image of God in the Incarnation is the victory of Orthodoxy. I recognize and affirm that the Holy Church has weathered every storm and repelled every heresy thrown against it and has been victorious. I recognize that Orthodoxy in America is gaining ground and moving towards a brighter future. I have faith in the victory of Orthodoxy.

Yet, I cannot proclaim the victory of Orthodoxy for myself. Why? -because Orthodoxy has not yet been victorious in me. You see at this point I cannot say what St. Paul said: “it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.” I know that I am created in the image of God, yet the icon of Christ has not yet been made in me. This icon is being written in me and it’s a work in progress, but it is not finished. The victory of Orthodoxy is not yet in me, though I long for it.

Well, I say that I long for it, but in fact, I am an iconoclast.  I am a slave to my passions, and so smear whatever image of Christ there is in me. By my selfishness and love of pleasure, I refuse to acknowledge the reality of the image of Christ in others. Even more, I set myself up as a judge and by condemning others, I smash the image of Christ in them (at least in my own mind). I demonstrate my belief that God is invisible, and being invisible, He is certainly not in you or in anyone else. As John the Beloved would say, “How can you love God whom you cannot see…”

Against this sinful old iconoclast, the Spirit struggles to write the image of Christ in me. May God gain victory over me, so that someday, others might look at me and see God made manifest in Christ in me. May the day come when this image is so complete that I can say with St. Paul, “the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God.”

I look forward to the Victory of Orthodoxy.

 

 

 

I am climbing St. John’s Ladder

Published
by
frjohn
on May 20, 2008
in Lent and Podvig - Spiritual Struggle
. 0 Comments

For the Lenten Sunday of St. John Climacus

 

I have come to the conviction that God is pleased with me.

This might seem like a ridiculous idea for those who know me. Spend a little bit of time with me and you will find me to be a foolish, silly old man who really ought to be farther along in his spiritual life than he is. After all, I’ve been a Christian since my youth, so how is it possible that I am still such a foolish, sinful, and silly old man?

Most Sundays, someone will say to me that they are ashamed because when they come to confession, they seem to confess the same sins week after week. They wonder if it will ever change. Because of persistent sins, despondency sets in. They will say, “It seems like I take one step forward and two steps back. Surely God is tired of me and very displeased with me.” Oh, I understand how they feel. At times, I hear the same voice- “you can’t get a leopard to change his spots.” In my case, it might be more appropriate to say “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”

I have come to the conviction that God is pleased with me.

Centuries ago, it was decided that the Church was not meant to be a place where only the perfect would gather to meet. The Church was meant to be a place where sinners could gather so that by the ministry of the Church, they might overcome their sin. Confession became a place where those who were not yet perfect could come and find refreshment. Certainly, there have been saints who advanced in Grace quickly, or who by martyrdom and great ascetic feats reached heights of purity that few of us will ever be able to attain. I certainly haven’t made the grade of saint-far from it.

I have come to the conviction that God is pleased with me.

For most of us, salvation (theosis) will be a long, long journey of one step forward, and two steps back. Despite this fact, God is pleased with us precisely because we are trying to walk this road of struggle. The Lord said that there would be a whole lot of people who won’t struggle for the sake of the Kingdom of God. In fact He said the road that most people travel is a broad and straight and carefree road. It’s easy going on that superhighway because like Interstate 81, there are no stoplights. Those on it may have to struggle with the consequences of their decisions, but  they need not stop to question their motives or the pursuit of their passions and pleasures.

The road of the Kingdom is much different. It is narrow and it is difficult. One cannot walk this road without struggle and effort and here are many stops and starts on the Kingdom road. Since we are trying to walk this narrow road and question ourselves and to struggle with ourselves, God is most pleased with us.

On the narrow road, giving up is a constant temptation, but it is the very worst thing to do. When we are tempted to give up, we should ask ourselves what will be the end of the road if we take the broad and straight and carefree way. I once read a story of a desert father who struggled mightily with lust. This had been going on for years and years, until one day, a great monastic saint came to the monastery and upon hearing of the father’s terrible struggle prayed to God that the brother would be set free from lust. The next day, the father came to the great monastic and asked him what he had done. “Brother, I saw that you were in great distress and I learned that you had been fighting this passion for decades. So, I asked the Lord to relieve you of it.” The Father began to cry and pleaded with the saint to ask the Lord to renew the struggle. The Saint was amazed and asked why he would want such a thing. The Father replied, “Because by the struggle I was attaining salvation. Now that it is gone, what will I do?”

I am climbing St. John’s ladder-one rung at a time and every rung goes higher. One rung up, and then I slip back two. I am sad that I have slipped back, but shall I stop? No! I will reach again and step again and this time I will try to hold on a bit harder. Why should I keep trying?

Because my Father is pleased that I am on the ladder, that’s why.

I am climbing St. John’s Ladder.

Climb, my brothers and sisters, though your arms grow weary from the effort. For by struggling for the next rung, God is so pleased with you.

Chasin’ Granny

Published
by
frjohn
on May 13, 2008
in Lent and Podvig - Spiritual Struggle
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Now you have to think pre-video game days. We had a TV in the house and mom didn’t mind using it as a baby-sitting tool. The problem was we only got 2 channels (both in black and white-no color), and so for most of the day there wasn’t much for us kids to watch. We became easily bored especially during long hot summer days. We’d complain to mom, but she was unmoved by our pain. She would tell us to go outside and play. That didn’t help us because there wasn’t much to do outside either. So, when we complained again, she’d reply as she showed us the door, “Well, go chase your granny ‘round  a stump.”

Chasin’ granny ‘round a stump; it’s a curious phrase and I don’t know the origin of it, but we children knew what it meant. You see back in those days, parents didn’t feel obligated to entertain their children.It was up to us to entertain ourselves, even if that meant hours of idle and meaningless activity.

Sometimes, I feel like I’ve spent a lot of time in my life “chasin’ granny.”

There is a story in the Old Testament about Moses and the Congregation of Israel. It says that they camped around the same mountain for 3 and ½ years. Three and ½ years!! You can imagine that this situation became extremely boring. Truly, they were chasin’ granny ‘round a stump.

But this wasn’t right. They should have been in the Promised Land enjoying the good life. The fact is they had their chance. God brought them to the River Jordan, and even though the scouts came back loaded with grapes and fruit, the people would not cross over.You see, besides the milk and honey, there were giants and high-walled cities and fierce warrior kings in the Promised Land.

Gee, God forgot to mention that part of the deal.He failed to mention that getting the milk and honey would take effort and force. Well the Israelites were not going to have any of that. I guess they envisioned a paradise where they would lay in a hammock and sip mint-juleps. Battling giants wasn’t their idea of the good life. And so they turned back; to what, I have no idea.

The interesting thing is that God didn’t abandon them after they turned back. He continued to be the God of Israel. That’s the way God is- always faithful and always keeping true to His side of the contract. But what could He do with them? So for 40 years, they wandered in the desert. For 40 years, they chased granny ‘round a stump.

We shouldn’t be too hard on them. God often brings us to our own River Jordan and shows us a new land of a deeper spiritual life and a closer walk with Him. It looks really sweet, but hang on, I can also see fierce battles and giants and high walled cities over there.The kingdom will have to be taken by force.

Well, chasin’ granny seems a whole lot easier. So most of the time my answer to God is “thanks, but no thanks.” God remains my God, but its granny-chasin’ time.

Elder Zosimas had reached his granny chasin’ time. In the beginning of the story of St. Mary of Egypt, he says that he was convinced that he had reached the pinnacle of monastic life. He believed that there was no monk anywhere that had anything to teach him. All that was left for him was to run around the stump chasing granny. Of course, God had other plans for him. He would end up chasing a granny, but oh, what a granny she was!

“If you cross the Jordan, you will find true peace.” These are the words that the Theotokos spoke to Mary, the harlot. Mary did indeed cross over and for 47 years struggled to take the kingdom by force. The force she used was the power of repentance. Mary said that the beasts she battled were her passions and desires. Given her former life, it was a mighty battle indeed.

When Zosimas met her, St. Mary had won the battle and had found true peace. He discovered that there was much more for him to do. Indeed, there was a personal River Jordan for him to cross. Looking at St. Mary, he saw the far horizon of spirituality. He realized that he had hardly taken the first step on the path to God.

These same words are addressed to each of us: “If you cross the Jordan, you will find true peace.” Honestly, it will be a battle and a struggle, but have faith. God is with us and promises us that we will be victorious. After all, how strong was that high-walled city? By faith, Joshua commanded and the walls came down with the blast of trumpets. Trumpets? That’s not so bad. And how tough were those giants? By faith, a little shepherd boy killed one with a pebble and a sling. That’s not tough at all. And the stone in our sling is the same as St. Mary’s - repentence- and before it no giant can stand.

The choice is ours: by faith we can cross over and find true peace; or, even though God will still be with us, we can play it safe, stay on this side of the Jordan and “chase Granny.”

 Holy Mother Mary, pray to God for us!

 

Orthodox Mummy

Published
by
frjohn
on May 13, 2008
in Lent and Podvig - Spiritual Struggle
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Jesus said that the day would come when those in the grave would hear the voice of the Shepherd, and would rise. Today, on Lazarus Saturday, we see this actually happening. Yet, in all my years of reading this text and thinking about it, something new occurred to me. Lazarus came out of the grave with the napkin on his face and bound in his grave clothes.

Of course! Christ called me to a new life. He literally called me from the grave. I was bound and wrapped in the grave clothes of my old life, garments that I had fashioned with great care from the sins and burdens of my life. What I thought made me a “well-dressed man” was only a garment fit for a dead man. (That reminds me of a joke: what do you say about an atheist lying in a casket – all dressed up, no place to go!)

While the voice of the Shepherd called to me and I came to life in the Orthodox Faith, it took me almost 5 years to step out into the light of Orthodoxy. Actually, I could look back into the years of my youth, and find moments when the Shepherd was calling me. Sometimes, I responded but most of the time I found I had other things to do. Over time, the voice became more insistent until finally the stone rolled away, and the light of Orthodoxy flooded into my grave.

I find that like Lazarus, I came into Orthodoxy dressed my grave clothes.  I think that makes me an Orthodox mummy.

Thankfully, Jesus commanded that the grave clothes be taken off of Lazarus, and that means that the Lord commands that mine be removed as well. Now this is making a lot of sense to me. The life giving call of the voice of Shepherd has brought me into the light, but now I must remove my old clothing. In other words, salvation begins with undressing. As St Paul said, we must put off the “old man” with all of his garments of lust and desire, so that we can put on Christ. Yet, to put on Christ, I have a bit of undressing to do. My mom use to always chide us that we were never allowed to put clean clothes over a dirty body!

Now I know why I still don’t get it sometimes, even though I have come to Orthodoxy. Now I know why I still feel bound by old sins. I heard the voice calling me from the grave and I have come into the light. But I’ve come like a mummy bound by my clothing and with a napkin covering my face.  Thank God, I hear that voice again –“Remove those things”- and this is now my salvation, my theosis, my life in Orthodoxy.

You know, the  funny things is that some of the clothing that binds me so tightly is my old way of thinking. I was raised in the western tradition and trained in western theology. I think it was five years into the Faith before I realized how much baggage I had carried into  the Church.

Its been 13 years, and I’m still unwrapping myself. Thank God!

 

 

 

Sic Semper Tyrannis

Published
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admin
on May 4, 2008
in Lent and Podvig - Spiritual Struggle
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I suppose that sometimes, people found Jesus to be downright exasperating.

Take this whole king business. Before his death, two of his disciples will ask if they can sit on his right hand and on his left when he comes into his kingdom. Jesus says, “Well, that’s not my decision.”  Pontius Pilate asks him if he was a king. Jesus says that he is a king, but his kingdom is not of this world. Even after his death, the disciples will ask if he is now going to restore the kingdom.  Jesus’ reply is perplexing- “No, but just wait in Jerusalem.”

The palm branch became a symbol of true kingship in Israel. So, on Palm Sunday, the “mouths of babes” proclaims him as king, and Jesus doesn’t seem to object. In fact, he says to the Pharisees that even the stones would cry it out if they stopped.

So, king or not king-which is it? 

There have been kings, and rulers, and despots, and tyrants- Mussolini, Hitler, Stalin, Napoleon, Pol Pot, Ghengis Khan, Idi Amin …the list is quite a long one. Power and might, terror and destruction-yet every one failed. Think of it-every one.  They failed and they weren’t even trying to do what this Man came to do: conquer the human heart.  Capturing castles or storming across Europe seems tough, but it’s a cakewalk compared to capturing the human heart.

So, how successful has this King been in his campaign? He has captured many hearts, but I can really only answer on a personal level.

Riding into Jerusalem on a donkey, Jesus faced some powerful opposition. Well, when He tries to ride into my heart, which is my Jerusalem, he’d better be ready for a fight. There’s already a king on the throne on my heart…and that’s ME!  That’s why it’s so funny to hear me exclaim that Jesus is king.

To be honest, I’m not really much of a king in here. I surrender pretty easily to the cares and pleasures of this world. I surrender often to pleasure and passion and to anger. Some king I am!! I thought kings were kings because they are in control of everything. If I am a king, I am a slave king. 

Jesus comes in humbly riding on a donkey to ask for my surrender. What do I do with that? I guess that He realized that trying to take me by force wouldn’t have worked too well. I would have treated Jesus the way a first century Jew treated the Romans. I might have tolerated him, but there would be little love. Also, I’ve got a pretty powerful Sanhedrin in my soul that wants to fight and contend with anyone who wants to claim kingship over me.  After all, I am a democratic American and I think that everything should be decided by majority vote.  And I am a Virginian! Take a look at our State Seal. On it, you will see that we have our foot on the neck of a king, and the motto reads, “Sic Semper Tyrannis”- “Thus Always to Tyrants!”

During the Palm Sunday service, I receive a palm branch. I want to put my palm branches somewhere where they can remind me that Christ is the King. Then, when I am about to surrender, these palms might remind me how past surrenders to my enemies ended in disaster and slavery. Maybe they will remind me that Christ is the only King that can bring real peace.

How will I know if Christ is really the King of my life?  Easy! All I have to do is check my list of priorities for the day and then I will know the truth of the matter. Most days, I’m a bit too busy for my…ah…king.

 If the truth be known, I’m still waiting for my own personal Palm Sunday, a day in which I too will proclaim “blessed in He that comes in the name of the Lord.”  I suppose (and it is a rather sad supposition) that just as He did in Jerusalem, the Lord will have to struggle in my heart, face my Sanhedrin, be betrayed, crucified and rise again, before I will finally surrender and proclaim him King.

Sic Semper Tyannis.